It is easy for us to focus on trying so hard to be perfect. We are bombarded with advertisements that display pearly white teeth and perfectly lean and trim bodies that somehow makes us feel like we need to be viewed in this light to fit in or be accepted. And what is perfection, by who’s standards – ours or their’s and who is the judge of whether we meet it or not. This brings me to my next point, many people waste their time focusing on what it isn’t and are not grateful for what is.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t value doing your best or strive to be better. Perhaps you can try and focus on what you currently have and ways in which you can be grateful while striving for better. Why is it such that things should be other than what they are? Alleviating yourself from perfection allows you to enjoy what you already possess in life for the greatness that it is.
The need for approval love and acceptance is sometimes what our perfectionism is striving for, but how many times have you felt loved and accepted when you have showed vulnerability to your friends along with your flaws, and they love you even more for them.
Have you ever thought that a perfect situation can actually be totally imperfect? What I mean by this statement is when you experience something unpleasant, it resonates with you. At the time you don’t always see the value or the lesson, but later on when you think back – you realise what you could have learnt or actioned and that lesson in itself is the perfect lesson for you in your life right now.
Something as simple as organising a picnic in the park with friends, and then it rains – so not the perfect scenario you imagined right? But one friend puts there hand up and you end up all congregating at their house, kids laughing and giggling in the playroom, you are all around the table chatting over nibbles and drinks – and then you think – how nice is this? My perfect plan, didn’t work out – but in the end, you ended up in the perfect scenario, didn’t you?
Perfectionism also inhibits us from letting go and fully immersing ourselves in the experience, as we are so hell bent on fixing the outcome. In our mind, it needs to look a certain way – as perfect as possible – and bank our happiness on this. So if it doesn’t come to pass, we give ourselves the excuse to be miserable.
Sometimes we just need to let go of the reins and let what will be, be. If the three tier cake you bake doesn’t rise and you end up at the grocery store buying replacement pre-made sponge, then dress up that cake like you own it! Or if you were attached to the cake looking a certain way and your child wants to take decorating into their own hands,,,,,and it ends up looking like the leaning tower of piazza covered in 100’s and thousands and a volcano of icing (clearly not the masterpiece you intended),,,,what does it really matter? I bet that cake is perfect in his or her eyes – perfection is in the eye of the beholder right?
Remember that you always need to keep the end in mind, and the smile on your child’s face showing the world they did the most amazing job they could, should count for everything!
Here is a Mantra I thought you could try, whenever you feel your imperfect world walls are closing in……..
I focus on the good I have and I see all that is good in what I already possess. I smile knowing I am lucky with what I have, while I continue to strive to better my life rather than strive for complete perfection. I am free from perfection as life is forever changing.